i ain't sayin' she a gold digger

I read the other day that "super" model Linda Envangilista and her baby daddy, Francois-Henri Pinault,  reached a settlement in the child support case of their son.  Miss. Model was asking for a measly $46,000 (THOUSAND!) a MONTH to take care of ONE child.  Just one. 

Um, okay.  Where to start.  I have two kids and to date, I don't think they have collectively cost me anywhere  near that much money in the seven years I have been a parent.  I know Linda used to be some hot stuff once upon a time on the catwalk, but home girl is looking at doing anti-wrinkle commercials for Olay.  Forty-Six thousand a month?!   Does the child eat caviar for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?  Is his nanny the holographic image of Tupac?  I know that whole "maintaining a standard of living" nonsense they'll feed the media, but  someone might want to suggest that Linda look into couponing and budgeting.  The details of the settlement haven't been made public..yet, but i'm sure it will still be more then then average American family makes in a year. Awesome.  

Now I'm not saying that ol' Franc shouldn't be paying up.  Last I heard it takes two to tango.  I did sorta pay attention in sex ed. back in middle school.  And while we are on that topic someone might want to explain where babies come from to Mr. Pinault.  Aside from the very expensive trophy from nailing a one time hot piece of ass he is also the father to two children from a previous marriage and shares a daughter with baby mama ( and now wive) Selma Hayek.  At least that feisty little siren from south of the border has the good sense to make him put a ring on it.  Kudos sista! 

Looking at pictures of Francois you'd be hard pressed to try to tell me that these children were the product of love.  Maybe he's really charming or smells good, I dunno.  He probably just showed these "ladies" his bank statement and their panties combusted.  At least that's how I imagine it in my head.  

If i'm being honest, a small part of me is probably a little jealous.  Sure, Mr. Pinault isn't my usual type, but if he called me up I would drop it like it's hot and hope to God I was ovulating.  Cha-Ching!  

pink eye

Being a mom has a lot of really awesome moments.  Like when you hear your child say he loves you for the first time, how they run and leap into your arms and the such.

Sometimes though it's not all fun and games.  Like when they share with you their pink eye germs.  Yup, that's not so awesome.  I could have done without them sharing their butt scratching doo-doo finger germs with me.  I know it originated from B and S because they're just getting over their own conjunctivitis.  Trying to type out a blog post with one functioning eye kinda sucks.  My right eye is pretty much swollen shut right now.  Turns out you really do need both eyes for silly things like depth perception. Pouring the kids juice this morning was a real laugh (not really)

On top of all this fun I have a math test tomorrow.  So it's off to the drug store for a doo-doo eye walk of shame...
 
p.s.  I was going to add a picture of a pink eye infected eye...but upon googling it I changed my mind.  ugh.  some things can't be unseen.

troubled waters

http://youtu.be/o7BmJM_9RUM   (click on that because I can't figure out how to embed the link, but read the following first)

So that above scene, that I in no way own and apologize for it's horrible quality, pretty much sums up my evening with Seth.  Something he ate decided to wage a war in his tiny tummy tonight before bed and he found himself battling a case of "muddy water" as he calls it.  And I, as his very lucky mom, had the privilege of sitting with him in the bathroom while a scene very much like the above one, played out.  That is just one of the many perks of being a parent.  You never know if your kids are going to want mommy or daddy in their times of need.  So when I got called into the bathroom tonight to ride out the storm with my ailing four year old, I went.  I think such situations are listed in the fine print of rights you waive when you leave the hospital with your bundle of joy.  Along with things like ever soundly sleeping again, hot meals for at least the first five years, showers that last longer than fifteen minutes, ect.

One thing to know about Seth is that he NEVER stops talking.  He's even been known to talk in his sleep.  So while he violently evacuated his lower intestines he kept up a steady stream of conversation like we were sitting on the couch having a normal conversation.  And if you know anything about me,  I have the maturity level of a  twelve year old boy when it comes to bathroom jokes so it takes every fiber of my being not to collapse into a fit of giggles and keep a straight face.  My favorite line from Seth was when he looked down at his tummy and exclaimed, "tummy, what's wrong with you!!".

I am glad to report that by the time he drifted off to dream land he seemed fine and hopefully that will be the case through the night.  Although I won't hold my breath for that since that whole no sleep thing was in the fine print.  Well, I take that back, I will be holding my breath but for a different reason.

random thoughts

not my actual egg, duh.  

I partially read a story earlier that, in short, was something about the emotional downfall of donating eggs for strangers to use in IVF.  It got me thinking though...I will never be able to donate my eggs.  Ever.  Not because  I am morally against such things, but because I have a kid with autism.

Having a child on the spectrum nobody is ever going to want a part of my genetic code.  Even though autism hasn't been linked to be genetic, they'll turn their noses up at my ovaries offerings.  They won't care that my son is one of the funniest, smartest, caring, insightful, adorable ( adjective etc) kid on the face of the planet.  That they should be honored to have a child that is 1/4 of his awesome.  They won't even care that we have son that isn't on the spectrum and he's just as equally amazing as his brother in his own way.  

and to that I say..it's their lose.  They probably couldn't handle such an amazing kid anyways.  It's an honor and a privilege to raise such a child and I thank the universe daily for choosing me to accept the challenge.  

I'll leave you with a gem brady shared with me today

"a hungry person never passes up the chance to lick the beaters" -brady, age 7.  Autistic and more awesome than your genetically engineered kid.  

just a little reminder

Just a reminder that if you want to keep up with the two crazy kids for which the blog is named after then clicky over to the side on my Facebook link and then subscribe.  How easy is that?!  And you'll probably end up with a daily dose of funny on your news feed.  It's a win-win situation!

may the odds...

be ever in your favor

Trying to capitalize on my eye of the tiger feelings the other day I've been trying to keep busy.  Well by busy I mean trying to juggle school, kids, life, and what I'm pretty sure is a full on addiction to Pinterest.  I also discovered my phones ability to act as a Kindle.  I read seven books last week.  I'm not bragging, but seven...

Six of those seven were parts two separate series though.  One being The Hunger Games.  Go read it if you have not!  Now!  I'll excuse you from reading the rest of this post to go do so.   Don't worry you won't miss anything. This series is probably one of the best I've read.  Good writing and thought provoking while still being a page turner.  I stayed up several nights well past midnight reading.  When you have a four year old that wakes with the rooster's that leaves you dragging the next day.

  The second series I read was the Fifty Shades trilogy.  That was..different.  Good, but I wouldn't (couldn't) recommend it to my mama without blushing wildly.  But I will recommend it to you with the warning that it's for the prudish at heart.

I devoured Water for Elephants.  I haven't seen the movie yet, but wanted to read the book before I sat down to enjoy some Robert Pattinson goodness.  I've started, but not finished The Lucky One.  Who doesn't love Nicholas Sparks?  Well The Notebook..the movie version...Ryan Gosling.  Yeah, it's probably just about Ryan Gosling.  anyways..

Now you know what I've been up to.  In case you cared.  And to garner some reader feedback.  How many of you are planning on going to see The Hunger Games?  Are you Team Peeta or Team Gale?

eye of the tiger

Have you ever had such a sudden sense of clarity about what you wanted and expected out of life?  No?  Yes?  Well right now I have just that.  Eye of the tiger type shit.  I gotta say, it's a pretty awesome feeling.

On that high note, I'll be back tomorrow with more bloggin' goodness.  I've got some big things in mind for my writing too, including the ol' blog.  Are you excited?  You should be!